we got approved for our new apartment today! now this place will just be a memory in about a month &a half.
they left this on our door yesterday. got a good laugh out of that one.
SUCK IT CROOK PINES. room 1408 would have been a better stay.
A long time ago… like, really long. Early 90’s, probably, a little kwab was born. Her name was Kwabbage, and she was the most beautiful kwab any kwab had ever seen before.
Problem was, Kwabbage wasn’t interested in other kwabs. In fact she hated them and even, sometimes, wanted them all to die. They are all big dumbs, you see. So Kwabbage made friends with other sea creatures, like Shlee the Stinky Seahorse and Summer the Alcoholic Alligator. (sea alligator, look it up)
They were fine friends, and only a few of many, but something was missing. She made a list in her head of qualities she wanted in a man. Someone to keep her warm and safe during the day (she slept during the day because she hates the sun), whose really funny and handsome. She wanted someone who would treat her like she was perfect (because she is), and cook for her and play guitar, and sing to her. He had to love music and most importantly, he had to dance. Also be dead, can fly, and dress classy.
Somewhere on the other side of the world, on land, lived Heath. Heath was a healthy young man with lots of hobbies and an intense curiosity for the world. He traveled a lot and lived in many places. Despite having a seemingly full life, these people and places didn’t make him happy. There was something inside him that was always nagging him. It was like he had forgotten something very important and it was out there waiting for him to come back. Maybe that’s why traveled so much. Maybe that’s why he loved the beach so much.
One day, he was at the beach pondering life, kicking rocks, and practicing his guitar. Just as the sun was setting, he saw the most beautiful sight he’d ever laid his eyes on - there in the distance, just peering out of the water with her little green eyes, was Kwabbage! She apparently heard the guitar and came to listen (or got hit by a rock and came to murder him).
"I like how you play guitar," said Kwabbage, "it helps me sleep."
"Thanks." Heath said with a smile, "do you like to dance?"
"I love dancing!" She said, her little Kwab eyebrows perking up.
Heath and Kwabbage hit it off right away. They spent every minute they could together. They talked and danced and played scat and watched youtube videos.
They were in love immediately and grew more and more in love each day.
"I hate it up here, fuckhead," said Heath one day, "I want to be with you all of the time but you live at the bottom of the ocean."
"Come to the bottom of the ocean, LOL" said Kwabbage, jokingly.
And without hesitation, Heath gathered up his clothes and guitar and leap into the ocean, killing himself.
"HOLY SHIT!" cried Kwabbage, as she crawled across the ocean floor looking for Heath.
When she found him he was already somehow a skeleton and had wings for some reason? He was dancing!
"WTF HEATH," yelled Kwabbage, yielding her massive murderboner, "why you do dat? and why are you dancing?"
"Because I love you and you were right, I had to come here to be with you," Heath explained, "also, apparently, dancing in the ocean keeps you from dying!"
"DGAF" said Kwabbage as she hugged and kissed Heath. From then on they spent the rest of their days on the ocean floor talking and playing scats and watching youtube videos. Kwabbage introduced Heath to all her friends and showed him music and movies and books she liked. And Heath taught her pool and how to cook aygs, and played guitar and sang to her and made her feel perfect every day. All the while Kwabbage made sure he kept dancing.
Also they had awesome, loving, beautiful sex all the time and Heath loved to eat Kwabbage’s pussy as much as possible.
my sweet babe wrote this in 2013 &i was just reminded of it tonight.
starting from the back: black light poster
The Dark Knight: The Joker wih missile launcher
The Dark Knight: Destructo-case joker
The Dark Knight: The Joker with crime scene evidence
2010 McD’s The Brave & The Bold Joker
2008 McD’s Lego Batman Joker
2011 McD’s Joker toy &ride
1997 Joker toy
1988 Batman: The Killing Joke. [1ST PRINT!]
2011 The Joker: A Visual History of The Clown Prince of Crime
The Killing Joke wallet
The Killing Joke hobo bag
The Killing Joke GF Bomber from @blackmilkclothing
oh yeah &my 31” batman with an air freshener hanging around his neck.
not pictured: Why So Serious double sided poster from The Dark Knight that is waiting to be framed &until then it will never see the light of day. &picture my sweet boo drew me in 2013.